OK, what’s the deal, Griff? I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’ve been homerless for, like, two weeks now. Your hitting’s up a little bit (of course, anything is better than that freakin’ .238 batting average) but I put you on my team for some power. The rest of my team mostly picks up hits and caught stealings. Oh, and speaking of that – why did you try to steal a base yesterday? That was crazy.
Remember that one week when you hit two home runs? I really liked that. My advice is to do something like that again.
Oh, and what’s this crap about being traded? You’re the only representative from the Reds I have on my team! I felt the need to represent Cincinnati with the only player I remember from when I last followed baseball (that said, I’m glad I didn’t pick my other “veteran” options – Sheffield or Thomas). Maybe I shoulda picked up a fancy new Red like Keppinger or Volquez instead. Hey, I didn’t want to say it, but these are dire times…
I know the Reds are already off to a rough start, but maybe now you can focus on the people who pretend to own you on their fake teams. OK, that’s my pep talk. Thanks for hearing me out.
This has been omgGriffeyWatch: The Fantasy Report.