Oh, hellz yeah!

So long, Corey Patterson... we hope you do well in whatever independent minor league you end up playing in, but we're glad yer gone!

OMG! C Patt not dating Baker's daughter?

Now that chasing a pennant is off the agenda for the Reds this season, Dusty gets down to business on clearing up some rumors: Corey Patterson is not dating his daughter.

"Some of the players on the Astros asked me about it," Baker said on Wednesday. "I don't know where it came from. It's really, really unfair to my daughter, my family and me. It's very upsetting. It's unprofessional. I don't know who started it."

OMG! So, Dusty was actually playing Patterson because he was good! Oh... no? Really? Because why?

"When you look around, how many real outfield choices do I have or have I had the last four months?" Baker said. "Freel got hurt. [Norris] Hopper got hurt. Then Jerry [Hairston Jr.] got hurt, twice. We traded [Adam] Dunn and [Ken] Griffey, and now [Chris] Dickerson is hurt. What options did I have?"

Oh, I see. We didn't have anyone else to play outfield. All year. Okay.

Upgrade... just for today

Corey, you have been upgraded to: Indifferent. Just for today though. After that, it's back to bum status. Thanks for the game-winner last night. We do appreciate it - it was a pleasant surprise and helped ease the pain of the Bengals season. But, don't get used to it. We know what you're doing, and we're not sure we like it. Reds Rocket seems to be on the same page as well.